Using Embedded Clauses in Sentence Writing for Paper Variety

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A Correct Sentence is Structured Yet Varied - David Jakes / Wikimedia Commons
A Correct Sentence is Structured Yet Varied - David Jakes / Wikimedia Commons
While grammar is important, so is paper variety. When sentence writing, consider not only editing grammar but also adding embedded clauses for variety.

A paper can be perfect in terms of grammar yet completely boring. Because of this, it is good to include different styles of sentence writing to increase paper variety. When writing sentences or editing grammar, a writer can add embedded clauses to turn a choppy sentence into a compound sentence. A more varied paper is both easier to read and more enjoyable than a less varied one.

Use Embedded Clauses for Paper Variety

A passage should make it obvious which ideas are the most important, and which ideas modify or support the main concepts. However, sometimes writers incorrectly put main ideas in embedded clauses, or use minor ideas as individual sentences. When this happens, the writer needs to utilize content editing to make the main idea shine instead.

If a sentence has two equally important main ideas, they can be joined with a semicolon or coordinating conjunction (such as "and" or "or"). For example, "I went to the park and I drove to the mall" is a boring yet correct sentence because the ideas are equivalent, and neither clause is dependent on the other.

If a sentence includes minor ideas or ideas that are dependent on other clauses, these should be subordinated (using words like "after," "when," or "until") as part of embedded clauses. The sentence "Since I am so young, I cannot vote" is correct because "I cannot vote" is the main idea, and "Since I am so young" merely adds additional explanation.

Similarly, short, "choppy" sentence writing often needs revision. In many cases, some of the short sentences can be subordinated to modify other ideas. For example, when editing grammar a writer can alter "I lost my wallet. A giraffe ate it" to create the correct sentence: "I lost my wallet because a giraffe ate it." The main idea is that the wallet was lostthe giraffe eating the wallet, while humorous, only serves as an explanation for the main point.

Writing Sentences with Varied Style

Having too many short sentences is bad, but so is having too many long, compound sentences. For paper variety, try writing sentences with different structures and openings.

Simple sentences can go a long way; so can compound sentences. Try using both for a more interesting read. If a clause is important or compelling, emphasize its importance by writing a very short sentence. Combine other information into longer sentences. For instance, a writer can write: "Late one night, as she was lying in bed thinking about her life, she heard a thump. She knew who it was." The first, longer sentence sets up the scene and the second, shorter sentence packs the "oomph."

A writer can also use different openings for more interesting sentence writing. Instead of moving from subject to verb to modifier, a writer can start with a modifier. Adverbial modifiers, adjectives, and participial phrases can all be moved to the beginning of a sentence easily. "Alert and confused" (adjectives), "thinking of a quiet evening" (participial phrase), and "as soon as the water boiled" (adverbial modifier) are all examples of possible sentence openings.

Dangling Modifiers and Other Errors of Logic

Unfortunately, sometimes writers create illogical sentences while attempting to create variety. Modifiers are big culprits, as writers often rely too much on implied meaning when using them. However, a modifier must refer to something specific.

A dangling modifier is a word or phrase that is intended to modify one thing but instead modifies something else entirely (or nothing at all). Modifiers like these must be clarified. A sentence like "Driving to the store, a big dog appeared" does not make sense. Who is "driving to the store?" "A big dog?" After editing grammar, the correct sentence should be: "As I was driving to the store, a big dog appeared (in front of me)."

When content editing, make sure that all adverbs, adjectives, and prepositional phrases make sense. These phrases cannot serve as sentence subjects. For instance, "Although it is exciting can be scary too" does not make any sense, because there is no subject. Add "it" between "exciting" and "can" for a subject.

Although acceptable for informal English, the phrases "is when," "is where" and "the reason...is" should not be used for formal English, as these phrases are not grammatically correct. For instance, the sentence "The reason I went to the park is because I wanted to play on the swings" is incorrect. However, it can be changed to "I went to the park because I wanted to play on the swings." Always utilize proper grammar even if a phrase is common in spoken language or informal writing.

Sometimes a sentence's structure is formed for necessity, and sometimes it is formed for style. However, sentence structure must always be clear and purposeful for a passage to be successful.

Sources:

Hacker, Diana. A Writers Reference: Sixth Edition. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2009.

O'Conner, Patricia T. Woe is I: The Grammarphobe's Guide to Better English in Plain English. New York: Riverhead Books, 2003.

Lisa Devoto, My mom

Lisa Devoto - Lisa Devoto has professional experience as a writer, editor, and administrator for an environmental consulting firm. She has a B.A. in ...

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Comments

Aug 10, 2010 4:28 AM
Deborah Harris :
This was really informative. Thank you.
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